Kaminaworu, the Final Messenger
by Kaworu Naha ga bisa
Summary: What if Hideaki Anno took too much caffeins and sugars when he wrote Episode 24? One shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion and Gurren Lagann, even though both franchises are unrelated aside from being owned by Gainax. But Ramiel would like Gurren Lagann. It had drill for sake!

And yes, Kaworu with Kamina's attitude will make everything better. Definitely would not resulted in the epic artsy mindfuck ending that was called EoE. I like it, but i know it's not for everyone.

Also, i just showed my brother episode 26 of Evangelion. He got confused after 1 minute. Evangelion's definitely 2deep4u.

* * *

There was Shinji Ikari, sat on the verge of the water, looking at the lake with blank expression as his face. The blank expression was... just like that. Blank. And yet it conveyed many emotions he felt.

A face of betrayal, sadness, loneliness. A face that cannot comprehend the misfortune the poor soul that carried the name of Shinji Ikari had to experience.

The young man just learnt that his fellow pilot, Rei Ayanami, was nothing but a clone that was replacable. As he thought that something about her reminded him of his mother, he could not helped himself to get even more confused and horrified by the concept. He did not know how he could even face her again. He knew that he just running away again from his problem. From the other's problem, just like when Misato and Asuka learnt that Kaji just died. He knew that Rei was not facing it easy, either. But he could not help but to shut himself from the others. He had no courage to face his friends again. _Ayanami, Misato, Asuka..._

And it was the time when he saw something interesting in front of him.

A very handsome and pale man with gray lavender like hair, around the pilot of Unit-01's age was humming a very high spirited song. His crimson eyes were not seen, covered with his orange, triangle shaped glasses.

 _Do the impossible! See the invisible!_

 _Row! Row! Fight the power!_

 _Touch the untouchable! Break the unbreakable!_

 _Row! Row! Fight the power!_

Shinji was mesmerized at the sight of this high spirited man. Definitely not something that was seen around the NERV for months.

"Hi, bro!"

Shinji was taken back at the friendliness of this man.

"...Bro?"

"Yeah, that's me, Kaworu Nagisa! The Fifth Child! Came for the Second Child's back up! You must be the famous Third Child, Shinji Ikari, right?"

"Well, that's right..." Shinji said with uncertainty. It was rather uncanny to see an optimistic man in such a wasteland.

"How did you know my name?" He continued.

"Really? You really asked how do i know your name? You must be rather ignorant, bro! I said before that you are famous, so of course many will know your name."

"Well, so...sorry, Mr. Nagisa."

"No need for that, my bro Shinji! Say, call me Kaworu. Or bro. No need for this Mr. Politeness crap."

"O-okay, Kaworu...my bro."

"Now that's the spirit! No one will get to break your bond again, my new friend! I will make sure that will stay forever, or my name is not Kaworu Nagisa, Kaworu Of the Seashore, Kaworu the mighty, and Kaworu the man. I promise to ya that we will break the impossible and reach the moon and happyness for ourselves! Our bond will reach the sky and heaven, even if i had to reach it by my own hands! If you don't dig it, JUST WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

* * *

"Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child...no past records. All were erased. Just like Rei."

"All but one fact, Major; He was born on the same day as the Second Impact."

"Hmm..suspicious, Makoto. And besides, isn't there just one last Angel remaining now?"

"Well, i don't know about that, but..."

"Okay. We're going to test him right away!"

 _Kaji...i won't make the same mistake again..._

* * *

"Hello, my sister!"

Rei Ayanami was there, face to face with the man. Her memories were either fuzzy, or vivid at best.

"...Sister?"

"Yeah, First Child, Rei Ayanami! My lovely sister, finally we meet after such a long time! It's interesting that we took this Lilim form, but i guess it's okay, after all."

"Identify yourself." She said coldly, tried to intimidate him to give his informations. It had no effect she desired from him as the result.

"WHAT?" The man's face looked like he's burned with anger, ready to explode had the azure haired girl made another false move. "You don't know me, the Fifth Child, Kaworu Nagisa, who just got 85% Synch Ratio with Unit-02 in his first try, without breaking a sweat? And this is how you greet your long lost brother? JUST WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"

For the first time in her life, Rei flinched. Even in her first and second iteration, she never did it.

"Hehe. Finally got some sort of emotion from you, don't i?" He said with amusement in his voice.

He left her, still stunned, but not before he whispered in her ear.

"Psst! He's not that related with you, you know. My DNA was altered way too much from my donor, so you should too. I already tested myself. Trust me."

With that knowledge, and ten seconds of worthy time to recuperate, she knew what he meant now. And she remembered one of her bond, one of her desire.

 _I can become one with Ikari..._

A smirk came to her face.

* * *

"Ah, what a nice bath!"

Shinji needed the bath. He did not want to get home. He already there. With Kaworu, everywhere felt like home.

Kaworu was a nice person. Surely, he sometimes a bit too loud in the ears, but his intentions were pure. Surely, he would not do something horrible to him like his father, like used him to do something for his personal impulse, like-

"Let's peek the chicks!"

Or, maybe not.

"Huh?"

"My bro Shinji, i know your pain, i know your fragile heart that was delicate like glass, and i know your afraidness to reach for the others. It's not healthy, Shinji. All man are fundamentally alone, you can't erase the sadness by yourself, so you need to seek the others."

"And now, we're going to...so..."

"Exactly! All you need is some bravado, Shinji! Are you in, or out?"

"Um...in."

"I LOVE YOU, MY BRO! We're definitely meant to be born so we could meet each others! You go first." Said him. At this point, Shinji was unsure if he was sincere, or only using him like the others, but he quickly shook off his negative thoughts. Why would he manipulated him just to peek females?

Kami-eh, Kaworu helped Shinji to get up the bath's wall. He expected for at least one female to be there.

He did not expected that it was her.

"Um...Ayanami? I'm...i'm sorr-"

The girl cutted him, as she brought him into a very deep kiss.

"Hurry up, bro! I need to have my turn, too!"

She ignored her brother's plea, decided to keep exploring the mouth of the Third Child with everything in tool. Said boy was too confused, frightened, and aroused to do anything about it. Her tongue was dominating him, slipped into his mouth that was opened from shock. His cheeks were firmly gripped by her palms, refused to let him go.

"Shinji, what's keeping you-HOLY SHIT! YOU GAVE HIM THE TONGUE!"

Rei finally broke up the kiss.

"Ew. Disgusting."

Rei was thinking otherwise. Shinji too, both pleased and horrified from her sudden action. All days after her revelation she was acting indifferent toward him like she was not the Ayanami he knew before (not that she was that close to him, anyway), and now out of sudden, he got a very passionated kiss from the girl.

"No one else's there?"

The bro with massive nosebleed nodded to the other bro.

"Well, shoot."

 _Thank you, my brother._

Rei there and waited for Shinji was not in his scenario, nor the fact that he couldn't peek at anyone else, but at least he achieved the similar goal he wanted.

 _You're welcome, sis._

* * *

"It's no wonder that Maya can't talk about this. It's shouldn't be theoretically impossible."

"I know, Hyuga. He could set his Synch Ratio into anything he wants. Wait. Why's he deliberately doing all of this? High Synch rate that he can set into anything... What purpose does he want to achieve by doing this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This action! It's so stupid to leave such an obvious clue like this! What the hell does he thinks HE IS?"

* * *

 _Achoo!_

Kaworu sneezed, and he knew what he just did.

"Damn, i'm good! Now, for the next step..."

* * *

"Shinji's father...so he's the same like me."

"Exactly...and that's why we entrust you with our wish."

With that, the monoliths gone.

"All this i know...Stupid...do they really think their wish was the reason for why i'm here in the first place?"

Unknown to him, Misato Katsuragi was watching behind his back.

"I can't make out of anything he said. Of course, i can't read his lips from behind..."

Unfortunately for the Major, the Seventeenth Angel turned around.

"Oh, shoot."

"Hello, Major! I need your help for this matter..." He said with his telepathy.

* * *

"Lilith? What the heck?"

As his time came near...

"Fuck. I think i understand now."

Shinji made it. His face shown anger. Anger from the betrayal he got again. Anger from the sadness that his hope just vanished again. At his EVA's hand was Kaworu Nagisa, who not shown struggle at all, despite his pissed off face.

"Kaworu, how could you! You betrayed me! You betrayed the trust I placed in you! You betrayed me just like my father did!"

"Bro, i understand all your musing, but i got betrayed too!"

"Huh?"

"It was supposed to be Adam here! But no, i got Lilith instead! How am i going to repopulate Mars now?"

"...What?"

"Bro, i'm not stupid. I know all SEELE plans. All your father planned to do with your mother once the Third Impact happened-wait, too much information-, how Rei was made, how your mother was trapped in this purple junk. I know everything, bro!"

"Wait a minute! Who are SEELE? Third Impact? Rei? Mother? Populating Mars? Adam? What the hell are you talking, Kaworu?"

"No time for explanations, my youthful friend! We're going to do what's impossible! And you're going to help me, bro!"

"Butbutbutbut...you're an ANGEL!"

"And i'm an angel of free will, Tabris who will bring the empty Mars with towers that will reach the sky! Ships that will reach beyond the stars! And i love you with all my might, Shinji Ikari! I love you and all the Lilims! Don't you see it, bro? I'm on your side!"

Shinji still couldn't comprehend what the hell was going on there.

"Shinji, hear my words...believe in yourself, bro! Not you, who believe in me, not me who believe in me. Just you who believe in yourself, Shinji!"

Like the series, Shinji took thirty seconds to decide.

The outcome was the same.

"I trust you bro."

He listened to him.

"Okay. Now, all we need to do, is..."

It was the time when Major Katsuragi barged in.

"Oh, fuck."

"Gross."

"Wait a minute. That was..."

The reaction was from what the aniki duo saw.

Misato Katsuragi, held a bloody arm with a gross embryo-like organism on the palm.

"Adam! It was there all along." He said, before an engrossed face came back. "You know...you don't need to go this extreme, Major Katsuragi..."

"Heh. After i heard that SEELE initiated the Second Impact and he manipulated the whole thing since the beginning, this was the least cruel thing i could do for revenge."

"So...why do you trust me now?"

"After i heard that they could just blow up the whole Angel thing since the beginning, i knew there really was a conspiracy in the first place..."

Makoto Hyuga was embarassed. Here he was, talking about how dying beside Misato would not be a bad thing. And yet he did not saw the big logical fallacies from it in the first place...

"So...what are we going to do now?"

"SHINJI!"

The blue head and red head glomped on the Third Child, kissed his cheek playfully.

"Shinji, my baka! I'm sorry for splashed coffee on you and all horrible things i did to you! Oh, you don't hate me, right?"

"Uh...no."

"Oh, i'm so glad! My baka was not a baka after all!"

"My memory finally came back, Shinji-kun..."

Asuka came to claim Shinji's mouth, only for Rei to broke it in 5 seconds to claim it for her own. Shinji would be dying from nosebleed if Misato decided to glomped at him too.

"Hey! It's my turn, wonderbitch!"

"I was still not done with him." Said the azure haired girl

"WHAT? She already kissed you? Oh, you had it on you all along, Ayanami!" The oldest woman there said that with smirk on her face.

Both ladies were battling for his mouth, resulted in more nosebleed. They did not care for the blood that sipped in their mouth. Only Shinji's mouth and tongue that was matter.

"Oh, love! What an achievement from Lilin's culture. And, Shinji. Don't worry. Rei is, at most, as related to you as your fifth cousins. She's, as you know, her own person!"

"Uh, thanks... for... the information." Shinji said between the kisses, not knowing if it was a good information with his current predicament.

"You're welcome! Now, if you excuse me, i need to borrow your EVA again, Asuka. And yours too, Shinji!"

"Huh? For what?"

"Just watch."

* * *

Epilogue:

Shinji got married with Asuka and Rei 5 years later. They expected Rei to be able to give a birth after 10 more years or so, since her womb's reconstruction was harder to do with her regeneration factor was still not that fast. Asuka got pregnant within a year after marriage.

The law of poligamy in Japan was demolished for the pilots. And they got free suply of money for all they've done to the world. And Asuka won.

Kaworu populated Mars with the sons of Adam. Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu helped him to build the Mars with the technology.

She was still complaining that Yui got all the fun, though.

Yui Ikari now surfing all around the galaxies, trying to find the other cultures from the other seed.

She was still complaining that Kyoko got all the fun, though.

Misato got married with one of Adam's humanoid offspring that somehow looked like Kaji.

He was as much of ladies man as him, too.

Gendo and SEELE were sent into jail for life.

 _That was not in the scenario_ , that's all they said.

* * *

A/N: AAAAND there goes my crappy version of Evangelion episode 24!

Should i make fun the episode 23 like Neon Genesis Evangelion: Comic Tribute did? So Gendo and Shinji finally reconciled and teamed up to crush Ritsuko for destroying the boobs, eh, Reis?


End file.
